My Partial True Self

I suppose that it is good blogging etiquette to take a moment to tell about one’s self. 

Well, I don’t fit into a text box very well, despite my attempts to make it happen. There is a great deal more intricacies to my life and my personality than many will ever have the privilege of knowing.  It also depends heavily on what day, time, etc. you happen to catch me.

With that personal note out of the way, though, I will attempt to define myself through words.

I am a mother.  This is my defining characteristic.  It feels like I have always been a mother, and, in reality, I have been one my entire adult life.  I became pregnant at 17.  I didn’t really embrace my role as mother until I was at least 20, though.  It is the most rewarding and most difficult title that any singular person could ever have.  It is also my calling in life.  I tried to deny it with all of my might, but it is what I am to accomplish with every ounce of my being: presence in motherhood. 

I am a wife.  I both abhor and adore my wonderful husband.  If my children aren’t pushing me to the verge of insanity then he is.  I have to accept the fact that I would not want any other person as my other half, though.  I love to forget it when I am angry with him, but it is my truth.  I want him to drive me to insanity when I am old and beyond my prime.  He loves infinitely in a perpendicular way.  Within that cross section we work and complement one another.  I am eternally grateful to be the receiver of his lifelong affection.

Beyond these defining characteristics, I really struggle.  I am ambivalent, have a love hate relationship, or just don’t feel worthy of the adjective.  I will still attempt to share the outliers of who I am. 

I am a daughter – to my father.  (Notice the hyphen.  It is there for a reason.)  I am a sister – on the holidays and a few occasional trips to my hometown.  I love my brother immensely, but we just don’t make an effort to see one another like we should.  I am a certified social worker – that doesn’t like the work of socials.  I’m far too much of an anarchist to be remotely successful in this field.  I also love people far too much do this type of work.  I am a country girl – living in suburbia.  Growing up it took us about 30 minutes to make it to the grocery store.  I presently live outside of Nashville, across from a country club.  I feel like I am robbing my children of a decent childhood because they can’t feed apples to horses in their backyard.  Instead they can step in the dog poop that their neighbors failed to pick up.

I am a runner.  I’m beginning to embrace this title more.  I think once I run 3 miles in 30 minutes, I will be more apt to own it.  I am a yoga student – that frequently feels like she is going to die about 20 minutes into each session.  I am a friend – and an INFJ on the Myers-Briggs scale.  Friendships are tough to maintain for this 1% of the population.  I am a writer – who mostly just blogs and updates Facebook statuses.  I am an artist – who doodles with her 10 year old.

I am afraid of dying young.  I have horrible genetics and was taught even worse lifestyle habits as a child.  I am working very hard on disassociating myself from these old norms.  Dropping sugar and processed grains  is where I am at present.  My family and I completed a short stint on the GAPS (Gut and Psychology Syndrome) diet. This is where the nutrition and exercise obsession comes in.

Join the Wholistic Home Facebook group here to interact with me daily: Wholistic Home


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