I was riding a pretty amazing cresting wave of enlightenment, self actualization, awareness. It felt pretty phenomenal. I was connected to everything larger than myself. I felt the presence of God in every action. Abundance surrounded my being. I was not lacking in energy or motivation. I felt the interdependence of all of the universe in every waking moment.
Have you ever felt that? It is like your entire life is lit before you and all you have to do is ride that wave and follow that path. The whole of the world is filled with the most immense beauty that is a gift for your eyes to behold. Your heart is nothing but love and compassion for existence.
My wave crested and came crashing down, breaking into the shore. It was being pulled back into the sea by the tides, created by the gravitational forces beyond what I can fully cognitively grasp from my human mind.
That pull backwards feels painful when you get a nice giant wave to ride. My lesson is to appreciate that pull back with the tide. The further the pull, the larger the next wave. Right? That’s what I tell myself, anyway. That is what life has taught me as well. If you look for it, this lesson is everywhere.
My ego continues to grasp for that cresting wave, though. I acknowledge that the harder I search for it, the more it eludes me. I could easily allow myself to fall into madness at this critical juncture. This, I theorize, is the precipice of mental illness. In this drawing back, we want to hold onto it and do everything within our power to maintain control. Bliss is the greatest feeling in the world, after all.
Bliss also comes with all of the other emotions spanning across the human form. Ah, what it is to be human. Only when we say to ourselves,
“This is the tide pulling me into the deep wells of my subconscious. I have to let go and flow with it, so that I may come back, bigger, stronger, and with more lasting power.”
Will we be gifted this amazing blessing. Life is hard. No one can deny that. We are beings filled with suffering that is immense. When we approach our suffering and our joys with gratitude, we can be assured that we get the opportunity to ride some pretty awe-inspiring waves.
And so, on this day of complete and utter exhaustion, when I feel drained, lost, and a little bit confused – my gratitude is still immense. I will take a deep breath, lay on my back, and float to where I am supposed to be. I’m going to dominate that next wave and it is going to be amazing.